HWE- Whirling Whimpus

Name: Whirling Whimpus

Aliases: Taz, That Humming Bastard

Factions: More information available at a later date. 

Status:  -Active throughout recent history

Alignment:  Chaotic Hostile

Rank: 1


Measurements:

Height: 8 feet

Length:  -

Weight: Heavy


Powers:
 
Normal:

 - Bite - The thick, sharp fangs allow the Whimpus a heavy, deadly bite.

 - Gauntleted Hands-  The thick, boney plates aranged along the back of the forearms can be used as a shield and as a bludgeon.


Special:

 - Spinning - The Whimpus, as ridiculous as it seems, can perform a pieroet on one of it's tiny legs that launches it into a spin so blindingly fast that it starts to make a shrill whistling sound.  Any animal or man caught in the spin is turned into paste, which the Whimpus eats.


Weaknesses: 

- Sticks- If you are quick enough, throwing a simple stick at the Whimpus' feet as it is spinning will trip it up.

-  Small and Soft - Like most small Fearsome Critters, the Whimpus is suceptable to small arms fire.


Personality: 

Whimpus are lone creatures, very unlike most other primate-like species.  They want their stretch of territory to themselves alone, and will fight each other to keep it-these often end with one of the Whimpus eating the loser.  They have no problems eating humans at all, and many seem to activly prefer humans to any other meat.

Bio: 

"Why are we back in Wisconsin?  Didn't we find enough last time we were here and I almost died like five times?"

Joan leveled a look at her complaining friend/pain in her ass, replying "Because this is something new.  None of the things we found before turned people into paste before it ate it.  And it was twice, stop exagerating."

"Oh, excuse me, twice.  As if twice isn't enough."  Rhys grumbled as Joan continued to ignore his complaints, but even he knew he didn't really mean it.  Something was murdering hikers, and no one else had been able to find anything but some strange, smudged prints.  This was Joans home state; she had been taking the news almost personally and was a bit more snarly than normal.  His "luck" as a kaiju magnet might be the only thing that would be able to find what was doing it.  

He was sort of getting used to almost being killed-as long as it was always almost he figured he couldn't worry too much about it or he'd just go insane.  And if he did die, well, he was dead.  He didn't think he would care about much after that.

Still, he didn't have to like it, and he wasn't about to stop complaining out loud.
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The monster, whatever it was, didn't show up.  

Rhys didn't seem to be making any difference in the search-where most of the time all he had to do was be in the same area as the monster and it was on him like flies, this time it was like he didn't exist.  There were no noises, no sightings, no close calls where he only just survived.  

This one seemed a little smarter than normal.  As if it recognised that what they carried with them were weapons that it couldn't hold up against, that all six of them might be too much to take on.

The hikers it took were always alone and unarmed.  It might have been out in the woods with them, simply watching, waiting to see if it could catch one alone, but it made no sign of it if it was.

The only odd thing they noticed was a low, strange drone that seemed to happen every night as the sun went down, but they never saw anything that might have made it.

They stayed for two weeks.  They found nothing and had no answers.

They finally broke camp and began to head out.  Halfway back to the place they had parked their vehicles they realised that one of their cameras was still attached to the tree they had posted it on.  Heaving a sigh and rolling her eyes, Joan waved the rest on, irritated.  

"Go, go, keep going.  Get back to the van and look over the recordings we have, see if the computers in there can see anything the laptop missed.  I'm faster than the rest of you anyway, you slugs."  She shoved Rhys forward as he started to protest.  "Get.  If you go anywhere alone you're sure to get it, that's just how you work.  I like most of you too much to want any of you to be eaten by the paste monster."

"Besides," She said, lifting her arms slightly, "I have these."
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'So, this is how Rhys must feel when this happens.'  Joan thought as she stared in disbelief at the swirling miniature tornado charging down the path at her.  'It's a strange mix of irritation and something else.'  She leaped away form the thing as it came within inches of hitting her, swinging around behind it as it whirled by, the wind around it screeching.  It had to pause and stop spinning to turn back around to face her again, and she got her first good look at it.  Huge and black, and very ape-like, though standing completely upright on the most ridiculously tiny legs she had ever seen.  It turned around and it's red eyes glared at her from under heavy brows, and bared it's thick canines at her in a very distrbingly human grin.  

She lifted her gauntleted hands in response and turned the electricity on with a loud thunking noise, snarling back.  The monster gurgled what sounded like a laugh and started up the absolutely stupid spinning again, and Joan realized that her reach was too short for her to hit the thing, so her gauntlets were useless.

Fortunately, Joan was also not an idiot.

Snatching a thick branch and bracing herself to throw, she waited until the thing was at full speed spinning and started to dart towards her, and hefted the branch at the monsters feet.

The reaction was amazing and instant.  The branch tangled in it's twirling legs, and the beast tripped, going at what had to be 2000 rotations per minute.  It flew towards Joan, sailed over her head, and smashed its head on the dirt path.  Dazed, it began to sit back up, when Joan slammed the branch down on its already injured head, as hard as she possibly could, and split its skull.  She hit it twice more, just to make sure it wouldn't get back up again, then calmly kicked it.

"And fuck you too."
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"Why did it wait, though?  We were all on that path at least once during this trip-it had plenty of time to pick one of us off if it wanted to."  Ed scratched at his head under his, very frankly, horrible trucker hat.  "Why watch and lurk and do nothin'?"

Joan looked up from her contemplation of 'should I kick it again or not?' of the corpse, thinking a little before replying, "Well, if it's like most classical Bigfoot stories, it might have been waiting for me, specifically."  She decided 'yes' was the correct answer, boot thunking into its meaty side.  "It may not look like your classical descriptions of one, but Bigfoot tend to, at least in most stories and myths, go for females if they can.  There are only three of us in the group and none of us were alone too long, so it waited-or maybe it just likes blondes."

"They go for females?  Why?"  Ed swelled up a little, indignant. 

The next kick was aimed at a different meaty side.  "Whatever you are thinking, stop and also, fuck you."  Joan glared at him until he subsided and muttered, "Well I didn't mean that ladies couldn't take care o' themselves, that'd be dumb.  Only, what, they take on the easier looking targets or what?"

Rhys looked a little uncomfortable as he explained, "Uh, no, I know this one.  They, uhhh."  He waved his hands, clearly flustered, "Lot of people think they don't have a lot of kids or, well, lady Bigfoot, Ed."

".......Why do you let me ask questions, guys!?"

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The creature was identified as a Whirling Whimpus later, after they dragged the corpse out of the woods and back to the Manticore run base and it matched most discriptions.  

The head scientist, a man by the name of Cook, was happy to have the specimen to examine, but took issue with the fact that it was dead.  He complained at length about it, before Joan finally got very, very tired of it.

"If you want, you can come with next time and we'll see how well you do when something tries to eat you.  Think you can still examine and tinker with Kaiju genes with massive head trama?"  She asked in a deceptively mild voice, staring the man down.

He stopped complaining after that.
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History: More information at a later date. 

Important Dates: 

October 8th, 2034: Joan Bowman fights giant Squatch-type monster.  She wins.

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I can't be creepy unless the myth is creepy.  I can't make something that twirls like a pretty ballerina creepy, I'm sorry.

Art (c) Me